Report by Gerry McDonnell

Like Wayne Rooney, I’m a lover of the previous. I’m in no way happier than when some wrinkled aged seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age.

If my old guy is to be thought, and he’s not, football was fully diverse in the old days. Ambitions have been celebrated by a handshake, an assault on a goalkeeper was practically encouraged and heading the ball led to a quick keep in hospital, which was basically a shed with a sponge.

I’m unsure of the finest way of managing the elderly when they get to such a constant state of dull reflection, but only a fool should rule out euthanasia. It looks like Avram Grant will quickly be put out of his misery Sunderland can lend a helping hand at seven/one.

Mohammed Al Fayed is another pensioner who seems to have misplaced the plot. He’s gone from Coleman to Sanchez to Hodgson he’s only 1 stage away from a Souness. Everton will make Fulham shell out the final value at six/five.

Time has also caught up with the as soon as sharp Harry Redknapp. The technophobic manager’s memory is in such a poor state, he’s now getting cordial to the BBC. The previous people alliance will not be amused by this shock advancement. I’ll be splitting my sides when the Villa depart Fratton Park with the win at 21/10.

If Derby are dead and Fulham are dying, then Newcastle have just observed a rather big mole. I can undoubtedly empathise I wake up up coming to a significant lump each early morning. A wager on Birmingham to defeat Newcastle at 13/ten will lead to a substantial expansion in the betting lender.

Now that Rafa Benitez has ultimately arrived to his senses, Liverpool’s outcomes have improved significantly. I can’t believe of anyone who was a fan of the rotation policy, other than Alex Gerrard. Liverpool and Torres are on fire, Studying will sense the warmth at two/7.

I was not a content bunny when Arsenal let me down for an accer previous week. I haven’t felt these kinds of intense disappointment because Maggie Thatcher was launched from hospital. The Gunners will practically certainly make amends at 2/seven in opposition to a goal-shy Middlesbrough.

I maintain no grudge towards Arsenal for their slip-up at Wigan: I know what it is like to be tucked up by an unsightly pitch. Bolton will also struggle at the JJB, I am siding with the draw at 23/ten.

If David Bentley was made of chocolate, he’d probably eat himself. That’s one thing I would in no way do – I refuse to queue-jump. People will be lining up to back Blackburn at 2/1 in opposition to a struggling West Ham.

I know pensioners get pleasure from a little whinge, but Sir Alex Ferguson took the artwork of complaining to a new degree in previous week’s extraordinary publish-match interview. For me, Fergie has been on a slippery slope since that Pikey punched him in the nuts shame on you Mr Savage. Fergie will get revenge when United ease past Derby at 1/five.

With aged men and women, you have to be thankful for tiny mercies. I remember walking in on my aged man as he watched Baywatch, and I was shocked to see his hand shifting up and down on his lap. Luckily, it was just Parkinson’s. Tottenham are one win away from their 4th straight double more than Manchester Metropolis I’ll be shaking if they fail to oblige at nine/5.

I converse in jest at the plight of the elderly, but it’s criminal that they have to stay on such a pittance. I was left dumbstruck when I cashed in the old man’s pension – I could only find the money for 6 circumstances of lager. Arsenal, Everton, Tottenham and Birmingham sort a pleasing sixteen/one accer that will allow me the chance to pay him back again in total. It’s possible.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.